Breaking Through the Therapy Rut: A Journey of Growth and Renewal
Therapy can be a transformative experience, offering tools for self-discovery and growth. For Katerina Kelly, therapy became a weekly ritual from the age of 8, when a teacher first suggested it to help manage their autism-related challenges with time management, decision-making, and social interactions. For years, therapy seemed helpful, providing Katerina with the strategies they needed to navigate daily life. However, when college arrived, something shifted. Sessions that once felt productive now left Katerina feeling either emotionally drained or numb. The skills they had learned in childhood no longer translated effectively into adulthood, and they found themselves stuck in a therapy rut.
What Is a Therapy Rut?
A therapy rut is that disheartening moment when progress seems to stall, and sessions feel unproductive or disconnected. Jameca Woody Cooper, president of the Missouri Psychological Association, describes it as a point where therapy sessions may feel stuck or unhelpful. You might feel emotionally detached from your therapist, less trusting of their approach, or even tense and uncomfortable during sessions. Dr. Woody Cooper notes that this rut can manifest as increased irritability, a sense of being misunderstood, or even dread about attending sessions. It’s a common experience, but it doesn’t mean you’ve failed or that therapy can’t work for you. It simply signals that something needs to change.
Why Do Therapy Ruts Happen?
The reasons for a therapy rut are varied. It could be that you’ve made as much progress as you can with your current therapist or approach, and it’s time for a new direction. Perhaps you need a different therapist whose style or expertise better aligns with your current needs. It could also be that you’ve outgrown your original therapy goals and need to set new ones. Some people find that they no longer require sessions as frequently as before, while others may feel that their expectations for therapy aren’t being met. In some cases, you might not be ready to confront past trauma or difficult emotions, which can create a natural plateau in progress. For Katerina, the issue was a therapist who kept promising to address new concerns in the "next session" but never followed through, leaving them feeling unheard and stuck.
Recognizing the Signs of a Rut
If you’re unsure whether you’re in a therapy rut, it’s worth paying attention to how you feel after sessions. Are you consistently leaving therapy without new insights or coping strategies? Do you feel unmotivated or disconnected from the process? Are you avoiding sessions or feeling uncomfortable when you’re there? These could all be signs that it’s time to re-evaluate your therapy experience. Regine Galanti, a therapist specializing in anxiety and exposure therapy, shared that she pays close attention when the same conversations repeat for weeks without progress. "That’s when my warning bells go off," she said. If your therapist is attuned to your needs, they should notice these signs too and be willing to explore what’s not working.
Breaking Out of the Rut
If you’ve identified that you’re in a therapy rut, don’t give up on therapy altogether. Instead, take proactive steps to address the issue. First, communicate openly with your therapist. It’s important to express your feelings honestly. You might say something like, "I feel like my progress has stalled," or "I’d like to explore new coping strategies." Alayna Park, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Oregon, emphasizes that speaking up is crucial. While it’s normal to have the occasional unproductive session, if several weeks go by without growth or new insights, it’s time to take action. Asking questions like "How do you measure progress?" or "How many more sessions do you think I’ll need?" can provide clarity and help you assess whether your current therapy is still serving you.
Knowing When to Take a Break or Move On
If you’ve addressed your concerns but still feel stuck, it might be time to consider a change. Taking a break from therapy can provide the space to reflect on what you need moving forward. During this time, you might explore different types of therapy, research new approaches, or even try out a new therapist. Annie Herzig, an author and illustrator, decided to take a step back after several months of therapy that didn’t improve her mood. She eventually found a new therapist with whom she felt a stronger connection. "I feel energized at the end of our sessions," she said. "Even if I cry my eyes out."
Finding the right therapist and approach is a deeply personal journey, and it’s okay to take your time. If you’ve reached a therapy rut, remember that it’s not a failure—it’s a sign that you’re ready for something new. Whether that means adjusting your goals, trying a different approach, or finding a therapist who better fits your needs, trust that taking these steps is an act of self-care and courage. Therapy is a tool to empower you, and sometimes, that means being brave enough to seek out the right fit.